my life

Filler post

2012-01-30T03:57:00.002+08:00

Just felt like blogging before I go for sleep. A filler post I suppose.

Will start to discipline my life a little bit starting tomorrow. Goes for exercise, study, wake up early etc etc.

Damn,
thinking back

I really do have the tedency to look down on people, at least I used to.
I remember when I came to MMU, I look down on people who do not view thing the same wavelength as me. I look down on people who do not act as how I wanted them to act in certain situation. I just can't accept people with different opinion because I felt that I'm a level above.

I guess experience changes you, and I'm glad I move past that now.

And now I can't stand people who's doing what I did. =X

Children?

2012-01-29T15:49:00.003+08:00

Children.
Fascinating creature.

I think CNY is the only time I can spend time with small small children, after I went to study in college.
I remember I used to babysit some of my little cousin. And most of them were quite close to me. Some still do till now.

I don't know whether it was the changes within me, or children nowadays is getting harder to handle. I just do not have the patient to deal with them anymore. I used to be very very patient, explaining every thing, do stuff with them. But now, whenever they question me, I just say

"Because I said so!"

Whenever I saw some child misbehave, overly pampered, being overly protective, I always question their parents. While it's true that different child exhibit different personality but each children can be taught in their own way.

But when I saw children acting in certain way, I will *shake head*
I always have the feeling, I can be a better father then most of the father I see these day. (I still hold this belief till now)

I grow up with many role model I look upon
My sister who is always good, my cousin brother who is a brother figure, my brother who is my rival who I always want to get better of. My broinlaw which I always want to emulate. Not to mention my strict parents and uncle.

I don't understand those parents I mentioned though. =X

Sek Fan

2012-01-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

Touching giler =(

Nightmare

2012-01-21T03:21:00.002+08:00

A short post before I go for sleep.

Recently, I keep having the same type of nightmare.

Nightmare of those unfufilled dreams and my failure in my high school years.

I have long forgotten those thing.
And some never realise I have so much dream and hope I put upon myself.

Never realise I do have dream(impian) until the nightmare.

What does this imply?

And never 1 day I feel I'm rested.

I think I know what that means. Good luck, so that I will not rewalk the history. again

Have this ever happen to you?

2012-01-20T15:21:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation,
that you are good friend on this 2 different gender person.
Then one day they two get together.
And you realise you are way too close with the girl that you actually tried to avoid her?

This happen to me not only once, twice, but many many times.

You did that because you knew the guy won't like it.

But in the end you get blame for everything, =x
It's not that I want it to be this way.

But I guess the only way is, to be the bad guy, for the best interest of all =)

Peer pressure?

2012-01-19T22:29:00.002+08:00

I do admit, my home is a place I feel...

boring. thats why I got all these urge to blog.

Joking.

Anyway, I admit peer pressure is very.

pressuring.
What is peer pressure and what is not?

Is this really what you want, or do you want because of pressure living among peers.

But is this a peer pressure because this became something you want, though influenced by your peers? But if it became you need, does is it still a thing that you don't want?

lolol mindfucuk.

..
I'm impressed how those MLM people used psychology to persuade youngster nowadays to indulge themself into their system. The one thing that they did use often, is that telling them not to burden their family.
It's defitnely one selling point for me.. if not I'm already have bad impression towards MLM thing.

Happy cny folks

2012-01-19T03:07:00.003+08:00

Finally finish cleaning up my blog
(You ppl cant see it lar, because mainly chopping off draft that I wrote that I felt I shouldn't publish, left a few to be published in the near future)

It's almost the time of the year.
Chinese New Year.

You never knew how much I dreamt of my grandpa.
And the latest one came recently.
How I was surprised when I turned my head, and I saw my late grandpa.
But everything become normal.. I don't even know that he was actually faraway from us..

I remember that day...
Full post here

Even the naugthiest of the brat cried the hardest that night.

It's going to be be 2nd annivesary of his departure soon.
Last year, the whole atmosphere of CNY is different, real different.

The usual excitement. The day we wait to take family photo was not there.
The young ones, including me do not talk much so that we do not stir up any unneccesary things. We kept quiet on certain things.

And I do not see how things will get better.

Maybe it will, when my sister finally have her kid!
I can see that my mom surely will be damn exicited about it :D

Maybe.. just maybe.. things will get better..

Should I, no?

2012-01-17T23:41:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking for quite a while now.
Should I consider going back to serious blogging(LOL NOT THAT I'M EVER SERIOUS BEFORE).
But I meant was writing my opinion on issues, like how I tried before this blog went extremely personal
Should I seperate my blog like what I did previously?
My other blog <<<<

Ironicly, the passion for writing only appear when I have no distraction,
etc: inside a car/bus or away from home.

If I have a tablet, I might consider going serious in blogging.

Which add another dilemma for me =(

1 day trip..

2012-01-15T04:09:00.003+08:00

So, few days ago my friend ajak me go to for a function, as a favour.
When I insist of asking what is this all about, she refuses to tell.
Then i suspected something amiss.
From that moment that I knew it was some MLM thing, again =/

But because of the temptation of going to penang for a talk
And MLM talk is always famous for his "Overly enthusiastic, bombastic, over the top" motivation talk and about their own plan, I decided to go for it since I'm pretty lost and in need of something to pull me back up.

Somehow it did work, but not as good as I expected.

Travelled 6 hours. Took light lunch in Gurney Plaza

The talk was.

Deafening. Irritating. Childish

Let me summarise in two words of what I think of them.

1)Obsess
2)Realistic

I'm not saying that it's bad.. but..

Okay.. in this condition it's bad.

The whole situation was very very annoying. I know the organiser is trying to excite the situation but this is seriously too much. It's like those kfag shouting when they saw SNSD, 2AM 2PM Bingbang. It's like Ifag when the late Steve Job announce his latest product.
It's like when people blindly support the Najib or Anwar no matter what they did. No matter what they said, they just shouted, "agreed!", "yeah". -_-

Second, when they are doing this "business", it was clearly what's going on in their mind. If people refuses to join their program, they will be thinking,
"Oh, you miss out this great opportunity, kthxbye"
Intentionally, or not intentionally, they will look down on people who do not think the same way as they did, walk the same path like they did.
Truth story yo. Ask yourself.

But there's 1 positive thing I can take out of everything.
The motivation talk was great, really good.
It's chasing your dream, give your parent a good life.
There's 1 similar thing, a inside joke that I always share with one of my friend.

"If you never go for it/ask for it, the answer is always no"
It did motivate me in some way, but I'm not sure how long it will last but thumbs up for the talk =)
But as the talk goes longer, and the speaker keep changing. The talk got lamer. and childish.
Ah.

And then, there is personal attack.

I always have problem with personal attack, mainly because they don't know shit the thing I've been through.
Meh, though what they said could be true, and I could be more open about it. I still have problem with it when I reject them and it started.

But I could see the positive thing from the "insult" though.

Anyway,
Thanks for the invitation! :D

2012-01-09T20:02:00.001+08:00

Trying to get a right arrangement of a few song into a medley.
few of your favourite song actually =P
So far it doesn't work out that well =x

And I cant get access to my housemate keyboard that often.
Not to mention my attitude, haih.

2012-01-09T18:32:00.003+08:00

You told me to concentrate on my studies.

But what if I did?

What happen then?

2012-01-08T02:19:00.001+08:00

Always feel good to say

"SEE, I TOLD YOU SO"

for those that always lawan kata with me
for those who never trusted me
for those who always full with themself.
for those who always stubborn giler

you deserve this =)

2012-01-05T18:03:00.002+08:00

It was no longer an obsession.

It was never 1 in the first place.

This is different.

Really different =)

Happy new year!

2011-12-31T01:02:00.002+08:00

2011.
How funny
I remember back then in 2010, I was a happy kid.

A happy, stupid kid.

It was a promise in 2010

Thousand of promises in 2011.

But deep inside I know, I made this one very best decision in my 20 years of my life.
That made my 2011 looks more meaningful again.
It was gloomy, throughout my 2011.

I'm really glad I met a few good friends along the way, that manage to pull me back up.

And I met you.

A great experience in 2011. Grow a big deal, as a person.
but not academic wise though =P

Happy last day of 2011.
I hope everyone enjoyed their 2011 and leave everything bad behind
and look forward to this new year.

Just like me =)

Don't regret for what've you did in 2011, and for what you haven't do.
You have another year =)

2011-12-26T03:13:00.003+08:00

"Go for it if you feel it's worth it"

One of my friend told me this.

"Are you in a bad mood? Because I can felt it in the way you play the piano"

One of my friend told me this.

"Don't let your impatience ruin your plan"

One of my friend told me this.

"Go for it, but know when to give up"

One of my friend told me this.

"Will you seize the opportunity when it arise?"

One of my friend told me this.

And yes, it was some random advise/stuff my friend told me this week.
I was, or am never an independent person, yet I love to act as one.
Save all the trouble. Act tough. but dam weak inside.

I'm still very satisfied with what's been going on.
At least I've fall to the lowest part of my life. At least I managed to crawl back up. Best part is nothing could ever pull me down to that level again. Experience toughen you =)

Terpesong on the route I decided for myself. U-turn or not, all the best for me.

----

've been 2 years.
After all those procrastinating, finally decided to come up with a new one. Though it will be suck but that's not the point.

Well, you will see the point soon enough.

2011-12-23T03:36:00.002+08:00

Lama tak minum liao.
Although this time with fren that's not that close.
But nice =)
Nice beer too.

Damn, if I got car.
=P

2011-12-19T17:33:00.002+08:00

I wonder
is it my kiasuness that keep me going on. or the fact that this is the real thing?
Am I getting desperate.
First time so helpless =X Hesistating and waiting for the right moment... ;S

.......

For some reason, I think you're not the right person who talk bout betrayal for everything that you did.
I don't think you have the right, the privileges after everything you put us through.

I read somewhere that it written
"Girl can always forgive but not forget"
"But guy always forget but not forgive"

Somewhere around that lar.
I don't know whether it's true in my case. But letting go this burden, does this mean that I already forgiven?

I'm not sure.

But I'm glad I can finally turn this page. And start writing my next chapter of this book of mine.
I love you =) even it takes me more time than what he did =P

2011-12-19T09:28:00.003+08:00

I'm really impressed by those who stay far away from the place they work/study.
So I stayed in my sis place last night and have to travel a 30minutes+ to Cyberjaya and I already tak boleh tahan. Tiredness ~.~
Really geng for those people who stay far far. How they tahan ar? Walao eh, this if me, productivity sure low max.

Soooooooooooooo
New life eh? I wonder if the thing I did, the very bad thing that I did and the bad karma I suppose to receive has come to an end?

The luck has slowly turn side, though not as much as I hope it will be.

I wonder if the burden that I chose to let go,
a burden that I was not suppose to take has to do with all these.

Found new motivation, new target for my life.
Hopefully no more hangat2 tahi ayamm -_-

2011-12-17T00:19:00.002+08:00

I don't know since don't have any quality post coming from this blog anymore.
I don't follow politics that much anymore.
No more sitting rotting in room thinking how the world goes anymore. Spent more time socialise.
No more fucked up relationship.

Anyway, new life =)
Appreciate every moment I have.
I would prove to you =) You know I would.
You said I would be wasting my time, but I beg to differ.

Time will prove it =)

2011-12-17T00:11:00.002+08:00

Haters gonna hate.

Look in the mirror.
Look in the bigger picture.
Don't live in your own world.

It's you yourself who determine what your future holds.
You reap what you sow.

You decided to talk this path, then stop fucking blame the whole fucking world how you end up here.
Hypocrite.
When I tried to mix around more with people, I saw more of how sick can people be
Manusia pelbagai ragam.

People who can only think on their own side.

Then I came across a picture where people complain about the so called "High interest" of the loan of PTPTN.
You decided to loan the money. It's you who decide to pursue your education in this very own country. It's you who signed the paper.

So you get the money very happy lar? When pay back that time complain so much apa lan?

People do things without thinking of the consequences.

Ah having mood swings recently.
Kejap happy kejap geram like fuck. Period coming.

2011-12-16T13:07:00.002+08:00

I always talk > action
Bullshit a lot.
talk cock a lot.

When it come to actual action, I'm scare.

Mentally tired.

I just want to runaway, like I always do.
Too tired of facing the truth

Too tired of failure after failure.

Not sure when is my next outburst.

I just need 1 miracle...

2011-12-15T11:04:00.002+08:00

Last gamble on this.
Tried my hard for the rest of my sem.
then decide whether to switch course.

All the best

2011-12-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

我最感到遗憾的事情不是因为我失败, 是因为我连失败的机会也没有

This sums it all =)

Tired of dealing

2011-12-04T15:42:00.002+08:00

I always have problem with emo people.
Not that they are generally always unhappy. But the way they perceive things.

Ignorant, selfish and self-centered.
I know the word doesn't always relate to emo, but this is what I found anyway.

They tend to say, "people don't understand them". Fuck it.
They thought the whole world owe them some shit.

Please, don't they know every coin has 2 side(or maybe three when the fall into the gap between the road) But that's not the point.
Everything has 2 sides. But the wat they keep stuck in one side is really what pissed me off.

They said that people don't understand them but do they try to give a fuck about understanding people around? Yes, you are selfish and self-centered.

Can't they look thing at all kind of different side? I'm not saying that looking thing from negative side is bad, but sometimes we must always be prepared for worst case scenario too, but what are the odds of that happening?

Tired of talking to people who suddenly "you don't fucking understand me"
Hello, if you expect people to understand you:-
Explain, or argue if you must. You don't expect people to know what you want if you keep your asses shut.

You can't blame other people if the impression you gave others is all negative. Blame it on yourself. Blame yourself if others got what you don't.

You reap what you sow.

P/S: will be more ranting post from now on =/ Not really in good mood, lol.

2011-11-28T17:34:00.001+08:00

Tired

All the life that I ever wanted, vanished.

all because of myself.

damn

2011-11-20T03:31:00.003+08:00

So ladyluck is by my side today. Took a big gamble and it pay off.
So paying off the fees, looks better and much more certain now. =)

So I always tell others, don't let your expectation pulls you down. Expectation should always be used a guidelines and never, never be something that pulls you down.

Yet it was something that always affect me. It was this very same expectation. It is not the same level that I could cope. Proven by my failure of handling my last event. Very glad that I was not chosen for the next event, can put more heart into my studies =D

So my last 2 post got me into trouble. =X It makes me wonder whether I should post more personal thing into it or not. I know Shum E Yern sure thinking in his heart that I'm bullshitting but I'm not =X

Will see how it goes. So far everything goes better dy. Better than what I expected.

Keep it up man!

2011-11-14T01:03:00.003+08:00

I promise I will be patient.

I will let thing goes naturally this sem. Though my last encounter pratically eat up all my confidence and energy. I don't know whether I can cope up the next time it came to me =(

Yet selfishness is my personality. I'm not willing to let this 1 go.

I will see how it progress in this 2-3 months. But thing doesn't look as bright as it was few months back.

Should I make the first step. My feeling and guts told me to wait. They knew I haven't recover

Interesting ;)

Will not rush thing this time.
Meanwhile, I will be my old self again. ;)

2011-11-13T01:33:00.003+08:00

Re-watching the old vids of my recording.

Have I lost my path. The last meeting certainly woke me up. I certainly wasn't myself, I could not do what I expect myself to do.

My old video woke me up. It was 3 years ago. Certainly never did improve anything, but surely worse than before (:

Time oh time. u r dam cruel

2011-10-23T20:13:00.001+08:00

Working with big ego people is harder

Living under the same roof is even harder >.>

2011-10-21T21:08:00.002+08:00

My Short term stint as a moderator in BS/UCPro, really benefitted me a lot. I starting to see the bright side of it.
Applying what I learnt there, though most people doesn't see the point of me doing so as they are mostly individualistic.
Hopefully this event, everything will works out :D

2011-10-12T17:26:00.003+08:00

This is too big for my ego to handle. I will let my ego take over for this.
Rival is always important.
Lady luck doesn't smile on me, but it's alright.
Hopefully my gamble pay off.

Going to meet my advisor next week :)

Hatsune Miku

2011-10-05T01:11:00.003+08:00

People actually go for this kind of "concert"

Oh god.
Yes catchy music.
But, concert for this?
And look at the crowd.

Oh Japanese, how I love your creativity..

2011-10-03T00:57:00.003+08:00

This song has helped me gone through shit. And I mean "this shit", defitnely a song of rememberance. I love how this song give me courage to move forward. From this point onward, I defitnely will do so. You won't be able to hold me back with any of your shit anymore.

And you too. You're really the only one that understand, been in my situation. I love it how you will be with me, even till morning just to listen to me but most of the time I'm just a listener to you, heh :) Love how you will go extra miles just to make sure I'm alright

Trust me, it wont goes wrong this time. Cause u r here.
I'm sorry cause I've not done the same to you, I promise I will from now on :)
Love ya

2011-09-19T00:58:00.003+08:00

Once, you said I was always sure of what I'm thinking, the things I did
Arrogant, you can say.

But at least for large, very large part of it, I was right.
And this time I wished I could prove myself wrong, but once again, I was right from the beginning.

At least I was sure of my big plan. I took account every possibility, I look in the bigger picture to have done what I've did.

And you?

Yes, I knew this a year ago, the exact date. 18/9/2010. I knew it all along, that it will not, not even by close miles that it's going to reach that 1 year annivesary that we were both exicited, well at least I thought I will.
But, it seems like it's just me :)

How I managed go through all these. My love to you.
Yes, I decided to shut down our blog. After thinking through what I've been through. The hardship that I have to face alone everytime "it" happen.

Empty promises, empty commitmment.
I was doing all these shit alone all the time.

When some fucker made you unhappy, I will be always be the first, for that period of time.
Fuck, I'm not a doormat. I'm not playing second fiddle anymore.
I've been fucking patient for the whole fucking year. I endured some shit that I never thought I can have my guts in it.

've been always there, when you needed me, but you were never there for me, not even 1 sec. And even if there was, I couldn't imagine which second was free.

This few months has been particulally tough for me, I even have to drug myself to sleep.

I had enough with this 1 sided commitmment. Even as a guy, I need someone to comfort, I need someone as my listener too. Too bad, you were never the 1 there. It was always others people. And I felt bad I let them down, and chose to put my hope on you.

I always tell myself, "This is will be the last time, last time". Yet, this "last" seems infinite.

This feeling, that was once so real turns into betrayal.
It was a great experience, defitnely a learning platform

Sincere apologize to those, who've disappointed and angry at me when I didn't heed their advises. Yes I was blinded.
To the person, that I've let down.

Looking back this 1 year, I was left speechless.

I know I said this thousand times, but I will do what I've plan to do in the first place. I was off tracked but not this time.

I will pay off all the debt by end of next month.
Chase back what I've miss.

To appreciate those that have been with me all these while. :)

2011-08-29T02:19:00.002+08:00

Halou, reader been decreasing, earning in adsense and nuffnang too =O
No more ranting, people do grow up =D

Tangan kaku, don't know how to write.

Anyway, Uni life is totally a new experience for me. And this is my 2nd year already, and I still feel the same way?

I noticed, misunderstanding can easily appeared.
For group project, I've been the one who did everything, been the one who did nothing, been the one who did partly.

Do people really willing to go extra step to feel what others is thinking?
I've seen people forcing their opinion on others.
I've seen people who tried to be patient and not willing to express themself and ulitmately exploded(literally)

Misunderstanding, hatred is a lol if you really give a fucking minute to think bout it.

Do you bother to listen to others explaination, or do you let this misunderstanding grows based solely on your own opinion.

once again, one person's opinion is based on what they been through their entire life, and no opinion is aboustely wrong.

Happen way too often, and I'm tired of people's ego and how they can look down on people.

World were once a beautiful place, maybe still are, but certainly an eye opener.

On side note: I will be made a cover of a song, maybe specifically for person that been with me through this tough few months :)

2011-07-27T15:11:00.003+08:00

This is going to be the last post about this matter.

You desire freedom? I will give you freedom.
You want to do thing your own way? I will let you to.
You want to fly? I will give you wings to.

I said what I want to said
I told you what I want to tell
I advised you what I should advise

Don't ever think I don't know what you've doing behind my back.

Don't ever regret your decision. You chose to do something without thinking. 10 months. 10 MONTHS, All I've been doing is try to make you realise what you've been doing.

You told me to let things go naturally. See what happen now when I do so?

I've been failing, though I thought I succeed when you convinced me so.

You made this decision. I will respect your way.

To fufill own satisfaction

2011-07-19T03:51:00.002+08:00

Someone once said, (Or I think I made this up)

The meaning of life is to fulfill your own desire. To do what you love the most.

Flaw here.
You do not live alone in this world.

Do not pampered yourself, else you do not have control over yourself.
Yes, pampered yourself once in a while. Discipline yourself.

If you keep give yourself in what you want, you will lost between right or wrong.
You will wandered in the so called "grey area".

So peeps,
We do enjoyed doing what we want, but in the end, please think of the consequences.

*after some request, this post and the following ones will have a title*

2011-07-15T20:38:00.004+08:00

Short update:-

Finished event.
Felt fucking lonely after everything finished.

Lost my way, again.

A great week, but ended up confuse alright.

Do I still want to be in this field?

Seriously consider my option. Might be leaving here.
The best solution that I've think is start anew, in somewhere faraway.

Don't like to procrastinate my problem. I always end up doing nothing.

Fine, tired of tolerating everyone. Long gone the old me.

2011-07-13T16:00:00.006+08:00

Simple is way too complicated.
This is how the idea of my blog address came to me.
Pure sarcasm on how simplicity can be so hard to be achieved.

Been experiencing too many things, more than I can learn. Hence, pressure I felt.
Always tried to bring simplicity to my life, yet it always get hooked up into the wrong rope.

How much can it contradicts each other.
Where you need to do so much for a simpler thing,
yet when you do nothing, it became complicated.

But what am I saying >_>
The more I tried the more complicated it became, and when I stop trying, it became more and more complicated.

How can I untie this knot when you tried every possible way when the way only seems to knife off this rope?

2011-06-27T00:00:00.002+08:00

From my experience speaking, it is not looking good.
But from my eyes, it's not that bad,

Perhaps still too early to say, but when I always have even the slightest doubt, the doubt is not there anymore..

It became true.

Have seen downfall of something before
Not wanting to see another one just crumble when I'm part of them.

When we tried to convince you not to take him, you doesn't heed us. In the end, it brought us more trouble than we ever needed.

Will it happen this time? Never wanted to resort to politics until I'm totally convinced or it's a must.

Once bitten twice shy they said. And yes, one time is too much. Waaaayyy too much.
Tried to talk to one of my friend about this. He told me there are many this kinda people in real world and that I must learn to deal with them.

Maybe they are right.

But, the way I was taught as a BS mod, will never be forgotten and the way will be passed down

2011-06-20T02:34:00.003+08:00

Hmmmmm, yes mr shum, if you're reading this, Hello! :D

So I've been through a lot lately.. Part of the committee for some club in my Uni.. Bittersweet really. Bad thing is that you don't much time for yourself anymore. Good thing is, you learn a lot, from organising and looking things from a bigger perspective..

When things don't happen in my way, I used to force it no matter what..
Now I know, something can't be forced.. When the thing was fated to done this way, you should not force it...
Especially on love thing.

I used to think whenever I felt something should've done this way, I must have it be done this way. My ego play big part of it.
I still think like this though, but the difference is, I won't force it too much.
If your other half understand, what is good for the relationship, he/she should do it.
If your other half understand, that something will hurt him/her, they should know.
If you force them to do certain thing, will they know the reason why they are doing this?

Something happen when you force it too much, you put your expectation a lot higher. And this is way you made your biggest mistake/downfall. You end up getting really really upset.

I've been experiencing this, for the past few weeks(maybe worse, few months) and it have not been an easy life for me go through emotionally(where it will eat up physically too).

But the last 2 weeks of busy life, it made me grow a lot. Hanging out more now, socialise with more people really open up my mind. Life, still a long way to go.
Organising, planning and learning. Really enjoyable process. Can't believe I really enjoy doing all these, those experience.. ahhh.

I've been thinking, what would've my life been if I didn't go through my life as a sixth former, and straight away to Uni?
The obvious thing is that, I won't be able to meet up with her and be together with her! This is the thing I never regretted at all

The rest...... leave it to part 2 ;D Lot of thing to do for this week, going to miss the S.O.S thingy I guess.

I love you- 3.18AM

2011-06-12T02:02:00.002+08:00

How many times I have let my emotions to take control of me?
How many times does it affect my studies? Till my foundation results sucks to the max although it was freaking easy?

Countless..

It's a foundation I have to build on. A attitude.
It's always a new resolution at the beginning of sem. I kinda regret joining club, but trying to find the positive outcome of it.
Now I have to arrange time for my studies, club, gf and specially my time to emo.
Previously, I use much of my time getting emo. You won't imagine how much I actually made myself to suffer, and how much time it actually takes and how much it consumes the inside of me..

Anyway, a new update after so long. Will be more after I got my internet. Looking forward for her to stay in my new home soon :D

2011-05-11T17:03:00.001+08:00

When you've sacrifice your friend
your life
your time

to give it all to someone

and in the end

you lost, everything..

Overprotecting

2011-04-10T12:55:00.002+08:00

It always made me ponder...as a child that grows up in a overprotective family, how would I turn up is I was brought up otherwise?
Nevertheless, it was something I strongly disagreed on. From my POV, I always had a stand on letting the children be independent. Let them learn, teach them to learn to stand on their own when they face the problem.

Well, it was words then..
When I met you, I made the mistake my parents did..

It made me wonder again, is love changing your own stand? =/

New Touch N Go for Rapidkl

2011-03-27T16:11:00.003+08:00

Had 1 week of experience of using the card, so I guess I should write a bit about this. I was impressed by this card system, actually. It could really make the bus to reach at the destination on time.

But sadly, this systems is still not fully implemented. Most of the passenger I encounter still do not own this card.

For more info please visit RapidKL website.

Despite all the good ideas of making Malaysian public transport a better place, there are always loophole that wasn't fully covered.

One of them was, the bus driver do not really know how to use the new machine that was installed in the car. I was on the way back from Kota Damansara, and suprisingly I was alone in the bus. When I was about to proceed to make the payment with the card, the bus driver immediately stop me telling me he haven't change the setting. It took a while to change it. And since I was alone in the bus, he kept on talking with me but I was freaking exhausted to really pay attention to him(Mind you, I was out whole day and it was late evening) He said that many bus driver do not actually know how to use that and if they do not do it properly, the passenger ended up paying more than they should. Which happen in my case, TWICE.

Yesterday, when my GF and I was about to board the bus to somewhere, the bus driver was suppose to change the setting for 2 people, but fordunnowhatreason, he don't know how to operate it and the card that was suppose to hasten everything up, slows down everything. End up waiting for 3-4 minutes for the driver to get it right. BUT he still doesn't get it right, I end up paying for 1 person instead of two. Lucky me. ;D

So the good side of the whole thing is

It will hasten bus traveling time(Supposingly)

Cheaper than the fare we normally pay for

Can be used in LRT(in the future)

Do not have to carry extra changes for bus travel

But the bad side?

Bus driver(Mostly) do not know how to use the machine properly

Many passenger still refuse to use the card

Not everyone is from KL, therefore do not know how to use it(Lack of awareness by Rapidkl People)

One more thing, the Rapidkl bus is really in bad condition. Just last week, I already seen a few bus stranded in the middle of the road and a few couldn't be start in bus station. End up I have to wait longer than I should. Sigh, why lar why?

IPad 2 to Singapore coming April

2011-03-23T16:46:00.006+08:00

Apple has announced that "iPad 2 will be available in Hong Kong, Korea, Singapore and additional countries in April"

Additional countries? From the looks of it, Malaysia is pretty much in the list of the release.

Hopefully so.

Official Press Release

CUPERTINO, California—March 22, 2011—Apple® today announced that iPad® 2, the second-generation of its third post-PC device, will go on sale in 25 additional countries this Friday, March 25. iPad 2 will be available at Apple retail stores and select Apple Authorized Resellers at 5 p.m. local time, and online through the Apple Store® (www.apple.com) beginning at 1 a.m. Apple today also announced that all models of iPad 2 will be available in Hong Kong, Korea, Singapore and additional countries in April.

“While competitors are still struggling to catch up with our first iPad, we’ve changed the game again with iPad 2,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “We’re experiencing amazing demand for iPad 2 in the US, and customers around the world have told us they can’t wait to get their hands on it. We appreciate everyone’s patience and we are working hard to build enough iPads for everyone.”

iPad 2 features an entirely new design that is 33 percent thinner and up to 15 percent lighter than the original iPad, while maintaining the same stunning 9.7-inch LED-backlit LCD screen. iPad 2 features Apple’s new dual-core A5 processor for blazing fast performance and stunning graphics and now includes two cameras, a front-facing VGA camera for FaceTime® and Photo Booth®, and a rear-facing camera that captures 720p HD video, bringing the innovative FaceTime feature to iPad users for the first time. Though it is thinner, lighter, faster and packed with new features, iPad 2 still delivers up to 10 hours of battery life* that users have come to expect.

Pricing & Availability
iPad 2 with Wi-Fi will be available in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the UK on March 25 for a suggested retail price of $499 (US) for the 16GB model, $599 (US) for the 32GB model, $699 (US) the 64GB model. iPad 2 with Wi-Fi + 3G will be available for a suggested retail price of $629 (US) for the 16GB model, $729 (US) for the 32GB model and $829 (US) for the 64GB model. iPad 2 will be available in Hong Kong, Korea, Singapore and additional countries in April, and in many more countries around the world in the coming months. Further international availability and pricing will be announced at a later date.

iMovie® and GarageBand® for iPad apps are available for $4.99 (US) each from the App Store℠ on iPad or www.itunes.com/appstore. The Smart Cover is available in a range of colors in vibrant polyurethane for $39 (US) or rich leather for $69 (US).

*Battery life depends on device settings, usage and other factors. Actual results vary.

Back to the drawing board

2011-03-22T17:59:00.003+08:00

Will be more personal update this time*

So after so long, I felt so optimistic yesterday. The feeling is great, much more better than my usual self fo being realistic. Now I wonder why optimism will often laugh at those who are being realistic and vice versa now that I have been in both situation.

Yesterday, afternoon, I had such many plan. Plan for my future, and our future as well. I was so confident that it was going to be sucessful. It's the first time I actually had a real planning of my future. That is when the disasters starts.

I put my expectation level above of what I can handle.

It's like your heart being shattered and then being stepped on over and over again.

I was keen to believe that, everything will work out this time. I will work hard for it.

I guess it's back to the drawing board. The feeling of optimistic disappeared when it was just beginning to grow

Eidur Gudjohnsen - Going to end the same way he started?

2011-03-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

Eidur Gudjohnsen- a highly underrated player who had an eventful career where he play for top club in most of the top rated league in the world.

Played for PSV in Holland, Chelsea in England, Monaco in France and Barcelona in Spain. How much could you still be demanding?

He started his young career in PSV where he had the chance to play with then young Ronaldo where he injured badly. Not until he went to Norway that the doctor discovered his problem.

More of his career can be found in my other post

So what career he had after he moved away from Barca?

He moved to Monaco which I'm greatly disappointed by his decision
Played less than 30 games in 2 seasons, and scored only 1 goal!
Had a terrible first half season in Monaco where he had fallout with his coach and teammate.

During winter transfer window, he was to chose to move to either West Ham and Tottenham. He chose the later one which frustrate his former teammate(Gianfranco Zola) which is the manager of West Ham then. Zola said that they had an agreement but Eidur had a last minute change of heart and moved to the neighbouring club.

One decision which I greatly disagrees as well because of the time playing he will get in United rather than Spurs. Played 14 matches and scores 2 goals. Forces Robbie Keane out on loan but still can't hold to the first team.

Then he moved to Stoke where they had a totally different footballing philosophy. There's no need to be captain obvious on why they didn't blend with each other, no? :)

So right now he's with Fulham. Didn't get much chances. Recently played 10 minutes in the 2-1 lost to Everton. Was well received by the supporters, but with 2 months to go, will he made his mark again, like how he did in Chelsea?

Bad decision destroyed his career, but maybe not his paycheck? :)

IPad 2 in Malaysia soon?

2011-03-12T17:04:00.004+08:00

Ipad2 was released last night in US and in other countries(mostly Euroupean at 25th of March)

Was announced by Steve Job at 3rd of March.
But the question is, when will this be released in Malaysia?

There are some "sign" that it will be sooner than we expected, much quicker than Ipad that was shipped here many months after it.

Price was slashed by RM350-RM400
Those who bought Ipad 2 weeks before the announcement of Ipad2 will be refunded by RM350-RM400
Received an email about this http://www.apple.com/asia/ipad/notify-me/
Several news about this was deleted, apparently =/

So, what's new in IPad 2 you must say?

33% thinner and 15% ligther
Faster processor
Come with 2 camera, front-facing VGA camera and rear-facing that can use to capture 720p HD video

This is the obvious ones, still several others like IMovie, built-in gyroscope, etc that doesn't matter(at least for me)

So is it worth getting 1? I might get one, but not for myself :)

2011-03-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

I've been saying that I wanted to change the way I blog, but so far I failed..
Actually I have no idea how to blog except for ranting/emo thingy, but I don't want to see this to dead either. Uhh..

Realising I must move on, I decided to stop until I find a good way.

Still I must hold on, believe in what I'm doing. And hopefully you can change 1 day.

Ahhhhhh, so any shitz/rantz/others will be posted in my twitter..

Take care!

Responsbility?

2011-02-22T18:30:00.003+08:00

Midnight Music- Kyle

Too bad, not my video :P(But uh, not like anything expecting any video from me right? Tak tau malu)
But will be recording, 2 video the next time I decide to balik kampung. Huhuhuhu.
Bad time management problem, actually wanted to record last week but spend too much time buat bodoh~

I want responsibility but I'm not used to it, scare of it.
But seriously wtf, me as MC? Have they listen to my england b4? But because there are nobody else.. Kena push to this responsbility without me knowingly..aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Genting

2011-02-20T00:41:00.002+08:00

Felt like driving up there moment ago, but realise no one to go with. Don't wanna drive alone because I'm a bit tired, need some companion because worry that I will fall asleep halfway ^^ Blah, hopefully can get a car when I'm in degree time :)

Addicted to this song especiallly with the "Banana banana terracotta" part :D Looking forward to moving out next sem. Should be more exciting than now, heh. Can't wait for my degree. Sem 3 end now plox~ Will try to socialise more this sem. Can't imagine my life in Uni to go on like this for 3 years. Arghhhhh...

Life oh so different now. I used to love staying in Malaysia no matter what, chose to study here, work here.. Not anymore, thinking much more further now. Though I still love here very much, yet too much to think of

2011-02-18T11:03:00.001+08:00

I woke up this morning and the world certainly looks more different for me. Gloomy sky. Looked at my handphone then I notice something defitnely has changed.

Sooo, I felt slight gastric, maybe because of the meal I've skipping these day. But might going back later, depending on my mood after class.. :)

Recently my dream feel so real. As if I kena Inception or something.. Where is my totem.. Am I still dreaming :(

17/2/2011

2011-02-17T17:32:00.004+08:00

Arghhh, I woke up late for class yesterday, shit this half-insomnia. Shit micro nap ~_~ Mandi kerbau+ rushed to class, manatau the room havent even open.. Uhh...

So, last night I finally able to sleep well, :) Been a freaking long week for me, time passes oh so slow making it worse and at least I learnt lot of thing :)
Classes finally starting, concentrated better today then any other day. Assignment starts pouring in, hopefully my emotions don't get into the way of it~
I guess being busy is quite useful to stop thinking, heh.
But the bad part, I just like doing nothing, and find someone to talk to when I'm down.. pfft, contradicting wishes.

Seriously, nobody like to be treated like a fool, like an idiot..

Learnt not to put too much expectation on something, the higher you try to climb, the harder you will fall. Don't give me bullshit about to achieve something you must take the risk. Yes yes, I agree on this part, but does this apply to everything? I read in one of my lecturer blog/facebook, forget where. It wrote, you never know what's the fruit of your action but you shouldn't stop doing what you think it's right. NOW FUCKING TELL ME, what if I already lost sense of what is right and wrong? Lost of what I should do or not? There's no fucking reset button, there's not undo what I've done.

I willing to change, I willing to go on extra effort for it. I willing to make the sacrifice. But if nobody sees it, what's the point?

So, most of my friend seems to already decided what to take for their major. Heh, many of them is going to take the same as me. At least I identified some of them. Going to be interesting. And thumbs down for jimmy for discouraging me to take CS, FFFFFUUUUUUU...

Anyway, appreciate the people around you. Don't take them for granted.. :)

Remind me

2011-02-16T02:23:00.003+08:00

Not to take caffeine at midnight again.. Arghh. Can't sleep again. Can't really concentrate on my studiesssss.. Will be watching a few videos on my drama before I sleep >_>
Blah, these few days I can't sleep really well... partly because of the mosquito FFFFUUUUUUUUU.

and yesterday when I finally can get some sleep until lying on my bed until I drop dead. I was woken up by so-called-nightmare.. Then tried to sleep before wake up by second nightmare >_> Thanks to that I had a great deal of headache when I woke up.. Been skipping my lunch/dinner because don't have appetite ... Take 1 meal per day.. Save money FTW! Nom nom nom nom nom

Will try food that I havent eat before here, in KL. When I get a car then won't be going those chain food restaurant jor.. Kekekekeke

It's very funny though. When you are friendly to people, people generally will find you too annoying, or step on your head or don't appreciate you. But when you stop treating them so nice, they say you LC already, wtf is wrong with this world?

Finish watch the vid when I finished writing this.. Time to sleep :) Good nite

Wedding Dress - Jason Chen

2011-02-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

Actually just want to put this as a filler post to remind my reader that this blog is not dead yet. No, not yet. But to decided to write something just to reminiscence what was it like before :D

So as you see, it's not really dead. I did wrote several post but decided against posting it because it was not really to my liking. Lack of commitment I guess? I can't rant like how I used to. Too many things to take consideration of :D

Soooooo, my CNY? Just spend most of the time staying in grandma home, gambling, watch movie, play football/badminton with close relatives. But weird though, we didn't visit any other relative or get any visit from them. Heck, I don't know anything bout the pantang larang of Chinese anyway. So takut sui meh, pfft.

It was yesterday, the same day last year that grandpa decide to leave us for a better world. Grandpa wasn't the usual him for the past year and nobody really know the reason why. Yeye, hope you are enjoying the life over there. Valentine, it was always the day I will think deeply bout you :)

Oh yeah, Valentine? It wasn't a great day though. Basically I was rotting with my roommate. Basically just annoyed him the whole day to put off what I was feeling deep down. Was fun to see his annoyed look though :D Still, I have to put up a brave face and smile when people wish me this day. It wasn't exactly the happiest day for me, but what the heck, it isn't the worst! But when people said that 3 words to me, it did somehow make it worse. Nobody like the feeling of lonely though I'm a loner myself! Maybe I was tired of being loner, tired of the life. Tired of my life being worse since I came here!

They say bad experiences only make u stronger. I wish this applies to me. Perhaps I am! Just I didn't notice it? It was funny though, even when I was young, I already start to think bout life a lot. I remember when I was doing my homework when I was in primary school, I already start to think a lot and lot and lot and lot. It was no surprise I start feeling suicidal when I was 12. Luckily I have 2 friends that do console me a lot, thanks Finny and KM jie :D Thinking back, feeling that I was pretty stupid, sohai too. Nonono me not 14th floor fellow, don't say I'm him leh :(

Class officially starts tomorrow, assignment will start pouring in. Aiming to get a four this sem to cover up my previous sem stupidness. Hoping for a scholarship, with or without bind. What the heck, as long as not having to pay back the hefty fees.

I guess this is it. Will update again soon. I <3 writing and meleter-ing.

Oh yeah, to you.
Happy belated Valentine :D

Cny phinish liao

2011-02-07T19:02:00.002+08:00

What to do wor..
Sem starting soon, need pay fees liao.. need buy new book liao.. money money @@
Plan to get something for myself this year..

Want to get PS3, but don't have TV for me to play
Want to get DSLR, but scare later hangat hangat tahi ayam
Want to get digital piano, but too expensive...

haiyoh..

Happy Chinese New Year

2011-01-31T17:18:00.004+08:00

Couldn't get the pic from my fren yet so maybe I will update on next post..

Soooooooooooooooo, the first obvious thing is Chinese New Year is coming right? Will be balik-kampung as usual although not really my kampung. Right after CNY, my new sem will be starting..

Will be doing some adjustment to my uni life. Will stop being active in my club, perhaps until my degree time. Due to bad management of my own life, I failed my responsibility this sem. So, yeah I will be concentrating more on my studies and maybe spending more time on leisure and family.

Had a chance to catch a few drinks with my friend last night, each telling what they went through.. Hah, have a lot of catching up to do...

Last but not least, Happy new year!

Back!

2011-01-28T16:31:00.004+08:00

Fuh!
I managed to drive successfully in KL, drive go and fro and back home safely. Wasn't as hard as I expect it to be..

Met a few familiar faces over there though.
Mama was her typical worry self and papa was worry as well but didn't really show it.
It felt great, since I love driving but it was tiring though. A bit rush and should have stay for another day.

Most importantly I came back safely, but feel like going to be sick soon, lack of sleep+heart pain? :P Going to take a break now.. Picture will be update soon, take care peeps!

Back!

2011-01-28T16:31:00.002+08:00

Fuh!
I managed to drive successfully in KL, drive go and fro and back home safely. Wasn't as hard as I expect it to be..

Met a few familiar faces over there though.
Mama was her typical worry self and papa was worry as well but didn't really show it.
It felt great, since I love driving but it was tiring though. A bit rush and should have stay for another day.

Most importantly I came back safely, but didn't feel good. Going to take a break now.. Picture will be update soon, take care peeps!

Finally!

2011-01-21T16:32:00.002+08:00

Decided to reblogging after reading some blog really got into me! And finally I can relax for a little while. It wasn't like how I expected it to be, but what the heck, what done is done. Shouldn't ate medicine that could make you feel sleepy during exam. I took that medicine because I really don't want to disturb other student who's taking their exam as well, know what I mean? (:

By the way, my blog post quality has declined badly since I came to MMU. Will try to reignite it to the former glory(if it has any) in the coming weeks, heh.

It was day again, but I don't feel sleepy at all. No idea why though, perhaps all this excitment got into me, but I should really get some rest that I deserve(actually I don't), and get well before next week!

Will try to housekeep my hostel room today. Been actually 1 month since I actually keep things tidy around here. But everything seems to get even messier the day after that I tidy things up.

Well anyway, have fun guys!

Quote of the day:
Don't spend time hating on what others have to do, use your time to do things you're suppose to do :)

2011-01-16T13:57:00.002+08:00

Do we strive for perfection,
Or do we think we are too perfect?

Is our head too big for our own good,
That we refuse to accept any criticism?

I dream big, only to fall down harder because of the degree of the dream..
or am I brought up to be seen how I fall?

I'm lost even in this very small world of mine...
*sigh*

Do I really need help to walk out of this?
Or should I tried to get better of myself, by myself?

Pre exam (:

2011-01-13T00:57:00.002+08:00

Hopefully it will turn out great..
But my body ain't great now :(
Nose been running since last week because of the rainy weather...
Went out to dabao for supper just now and suddenly it rained heavily.
SUDDENLY, OMFG..

Hope can finish at least something today :(

Happy 2011!

2011-01-02T21:50:00.002+08:00

Have you reflect your 2010?
I did (:
Take a few minutes off from everything and start thinking..
Of what you've done, on what you should be doing instead, to improve on yourself..

Don't wait until when everything's too late..
We don't have until forever to do/decide on something..
We think we have control of the time, but in fact we don't.

Anyway
Happy new year (:

Looking forward for my holiday soon!

A truth

2010-12-28T00:56:00.002+08:00

Will you choose to know the truth if you already knew it?

Will you continue to search for it when you instinctively knew the answer?

Will you lie to yourself that you do now know it that in the end you yourself are confuse?

Confuse from what's right or wrong..

Can't determine a wrong from a truth?

Curiosity killed the cat, it killed human.

Because of curiosity, we will try many thing we never try before.
But how much harm it will do to us? Have we ever think of it?

Just because we are curious, just because we want to do something "just once", we never think of the consequences.

Just because we enjoy doing something, we won't care what will happen after we did that, no?

Look at the bigger picture, think outside the box.. Think of our future, not just enjoying every moment now.

Our life is not just for today, we still have tomorrow.

Because of curiousity, we will always try to find the truth...

You once told me that, it's always best to know the truth even if it hurts you so that you can learn.
But why everytime I have to know this truth myself? Why can't it just come to me straight away?

And to people that compare this to Alviss, honestly I DO take this as an insult.
Don't overused the word emo. I use the word emo just to have fun sometimes, but what the heck, overuse the word to me will become annoying.

Pre-Christmas Post

2010-12-19T21:37:00.002+08:00

I'm back ^^ Actually decided to stop blogging because of "someone" and of those stereotyping of blogger =)

But decided to rewrite again because someone requested me to do so ;P

So it's this time of the year again, and new year is fast approaching. Will I come out with a new year resolution again this year, perhaps. Although out of 6-7 I came out with last year, I managed to done at least 2 or maybe 2 quarter of what I want to do.. Disappointing huh?
But the next post I will come out with my new new year resolution.. Maybe with some old one brought forward :P

It was a great day for me yesterday though.. :) You know what..
Just wished that my christmas wishes will come true..

Merry Christmas peeps!

P/S: Don't have any plan for coming Christmas, do you? Ajak me plox~!

Ahead on Our Way

2010-12-13T20:58:00.002+08:00

Why oh why that my maturity level go down to the drain after I came here....
;)

Was alone in my room yesterday.. Felt great..
Had more privacy, more peaceful and can do whatever I want..
Can think more, can concentrate more... Arghh. I miss those moment..
Well at least for a day.. Another 5 months then I'm outta here! Yay!

2010-12-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

Obsession
What happen when people are too obsess with their own ideal that they refuse to listen to others and try to listen what others are saying?

What happen when people are good in one thing and their head become too big for their own good?

Oh well well..

Guess have to change my way of doing things dy..
Gogogo!

Make A Wish

2010-12-11T20:29:00.004+08:00

One of my favourite song, accidently came across this song..
Been so so long since I listen to this..

Bring back so much memories...

Midnight Music ;D

2010-12-11T11:34:00.005+08:00

For everything we do, there are consequences..
We have to be responsible for every thing we did..
Eventhough the result is not always what we wanted..

2010-12-01T15:59:00.005+08:00

Always appreciate advices..
Always helped me to remain on the right path..
To think logically when I failed to do so.. when my emotions at control...

Thankssss
:)

High fever

2010-11-30T19:56:00.002+08:00

Slept whole day yesterday..
And today again ><
But not a continuous sleep though.
Too noisy dy..
Really want move out from hostel :(
Yesterday sleep at 7 woke up at 12am.. then do assignment till 2am before sleep again.
Thank you cause keep pei me oo ^^

Keep drink 100 plus like mad
Run out of panadol..
If tomorrow still like that then need see doctor leh..
>_>

2010-11-28T12:58:00.004+08:00

So much thing to say..
But most best left unspoken..

Sorry for not having the chance to prove every single word I said. For every word that came out, I meant every single one.
Sorry for not be able to do everything that I've planned so far.
Sorry because I'm not good enough.
Sorry...

2010-11-27T02:13:00.002+08:00

I dreamt I went to get myself a DSLR
=O

This is a sign.. a sign of telling me to strive harder?
I don't know =O

Break ending soon, is it a good thing?

24th November

2010-11-24T00:51:00.006+08:00

If the lighting struck the same place twice, was it mere coincidence?
Very nice, ambiguous life question. (:

I'm amazed, on how much we have change throughout our life.
Our way of perception, how we look at thing..
Something I never dream of doing or never wanting to do which I did during my journey of life.

Ever since I left home, or ever since "the thing" happened, my life is never the same again. Never I imagine I will do much of the thing I will be doing today, no never once. Life experience could change me so much. Is it now that I start to hate everything?

Yes, maybe I'm inferior when meeting someone new, maybe this is the way of not letting people to discover who I'm. Prefer not to let people know the real me. And now I'm confused right now. Who am I right now? Did I change myself too much that I don't recognize myself anymore? Or that I despise myself so much that I don't even want to admit who am I today?

But my instinct, is still intact with me. To instinctively know who the person really are, to know what they are thinking, or to differentiate truth from lies

This is something I'm going to bring along in my life, something that going to be/are very usual in my life.

Do I hate myself for not be able to hold firmly? Do I hate how I couldn't control everything that happen?
They told me, "You can't control everything in your life, just let it be on how it suppose to be. Something are just meant to be"
Yeah, fuck it. The feeling, is unbearable..

One of my friend once wrote something, "If you've achieved your dream, will it still be a dream?" It's something that go in my head for years. Does he mean that a dream should always remain to be a dream, so that we could always improve by chasing our dream?

Always be tough, be decisive, be firm.
Remember...
Remember...

Remember...

Tomorrow will be a good day :)

P/S: Sorry for this mindless babbling. It always happen when I couldn't get some sleep. If you could'nt find any sense in this post, perhaps it don't have any!

Things to get

2010-11-22T19:46:00.003+08:00

Things to get for me.. at least what I wanted to get before I came to MMU

Clicky

Toto anyone?

Home sweet Home soon

2010-11-17T20:41:00.005+08:00

Finally going back this coming weekend. Been a month since I went back.. Miss my home so much (: Not to mention the food here @_@

Done what I suppose to do today, as least everything went according to plan..
Hopefully tomorrow as well, if I managed to concentrate whole busy day >_>

But woot! Just for tomorrow! Then I'm heading back home, for good! Nonid everyday budget budget my money jor ^___^

New

2010-11-14T12:45:00.002+08:00

Noticed this beautiful sky while on the phone

A new beginning..

2010-11-13T17:41:00.001+08:00

I've chosen to come here
Chose to come this far

No more regrets, no more holding back, no more looking back

No streetlight, no moonlight on my road..

But I won't let my life to stop here..

Direct opposite of me last sem, when I start to give up after my midterm (:

But before that I'm going to catch some sleep,
The only day I can actually sleep like nobody business. Alone in the room ^_^

2010-11-11T05:11:00.001+08:00

They said

Men bleed, but not cry.

I guess I'm not a man

2010-11-11T00:16:00.002+08:00

Is it because that I've doing less thinking that I've become less emotional?
Felt that I became dumber as time passes, I do not hold my principle anymore nor I can actually fufill it..
Is it a culture here in MMU or I became lazier to think? I mean LOTS of thinking.
Gawd, I don't like how things are becoming. It's just a matter of time before I drown into a typical Malaysian undergraduate world

Oh yeah, thanks to someone, I manage to wake up at 11PM..Otherwise I would overslept.. ^^

Left an hour for me to finish up my Economy quiz. Managed to score well, but was expecting better.

Should I get some sleep now? I think I should..
But I won't. Aha!

2010-11-09T14:52:00.004+08:00

Wanted to write something before I off to class..
So I didn't slept last night again, partially because of mosquitoes and woke up damn early..
Then took my nap, but in the middle of that, my neighbour came to disturb again. Sigh.

The weather was quite hot today, the sunlight was annoying. it it because I don't spend my afternoon in my room that I didn't notice it was like this?
Going to library after this though, to have a glimpse of my book before my quiz and examination.

Felt that my temper seems to be getting worse, I got annoyed at slightest of thing. I think it's just matter of time before I lose myself. Hopefully it doesn't happen (:

Take care peeps, going to library now. Physically I'm still ok, though I'm been sleeping less than I've been doing for as long as I could remember. Mentally I'm not sure.. Just pray that it would get better as time passes.

Be optimistic huh?

The Scientist

2010-11-06T12:37:00.000+08:00

2010-11-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

The weather is particularly cool today though I still sweat in my sleep just now...

Maybe it wasn't the weather, it was me deep down..

Took a nap just now, a pretty short one. It looks like a nap but I don't know.. it seems like I'm awake the whole time though..
Assignment finally stacked up like no people business.. Felt that I disappoint my groupmate.. I'm slowly becoming the leecher that I hate in the first place...

My plan for the 2 weeks plan just fucked up, but something will come up good this coming weekend. I suppose to be back this week, but have to be altered a few times and finally I didn't get the chance to go back although I'm supppose to, and want to. Seriously, fuck him.

They change the exam date, and my assignment dateline. Thank you very much and I didn't have the chance to balik kampung again. Been 1 month since I got back and..... :(

I already got guts, but I can't seems to get anything done.
Feeling useless, seriously. Felt that anything I done so far is not good enough..
perhaps never will...

Love The Way You Lie part 2

2010-11-04T20:21:00.002+08:00

Leaked part 2 (:

Memories

2010-11-03T18:51:00.004+08:00

I read some of my friend blog... some have stop blogging. But to re-read their blog again bring back certain memories.. So many thing had happened during the last 2 years and I don't even notice that!
Time passes really fast.. Can't believe it's already so many months since I left form 6, left my hometown.. I guess we really have to appreciate every single moment we had..

But with that said, I don't think most of us can do that.. not even me! Something may happened, sometimes, it may not seems like it's a big of a deal but to be in the shoes now to ponder.. You never realise how much you have lost some opportunity, to have always enjoy those moment although I have never truly enjoy it back then..

So it was this action that matters, not the fruit of the action.. You may never know what came out from your action

Read this quote somewhere, can't remember the whole thing though..

For a few days, I started to think back some stuff. I remember when I was young(or at least when my grandfather still around), I always went to visit them.. I remember every morning I would listen to dog barking and cat meowing... Have a walk with the dog...

Get what I mean now? Although it may seems insignificant or even annoying at that times.. But for me to experience that many times before and somehow it did stick to the back of my head.. It did means something to me...

-
Trying to be more independent :>

2010-11-02T20:39:00.005+08:00

Really... tired..
I'm don't know what's going on anymore...

Need piano... tons of song that I want to play....

How many have done it?

2010-11-01T15:33:00.002+08:00

Once a friend of mine said that
If you want both partner to have a better relationship, both side must compromise instead of one side solely tolerate with the others...

So one people said
Guys should be the one tolerate because they should be a gentleman instead, must tolerate to their partner every time..

So she said back,
How long can the guy stand if he keep on tolerating each time? 1 year? 2 years? But certainly not for a lifetime. What happen after that?

She continue
How do you expect how both side expect to understand each other with plain tolerance? To understand how other truly think about, truly felt? I thought this is what it's all about..

Remember, compromise and not tolerance

Back from Camp

2010-10-31T20:34:00.002+08:00

Finished unpacked everything..
Will be going for dinner afterthis..

Just back from Disaster Camp.. Was great, but wasn't as tough as I expect it to be.

One thing though

When we're going back that time, I had a glance at the river, Sungai Tua..

And it remind me of the time I was in Aussie (:

Never going to be the same anymore..

2010-10-28T21:11:00.003+08:00

Just now I sit alone.. in the bus station without anyone, any car.
Sometimes I do love doing that, because only like that I can think calmly, without any external influence. Haven't been doing this since form 6 time..

And I know, my life will not be the same anymore..

I cannot go through like this anymore...
I have to be more mature in handling thing...
I cannot be so straight anymore...

So today I went out alone... ate in a mamak alone...
Then I walked around, saw somone look awfully familiar. I know this girl, but I couldn't recall her name. Then she called my name, I could just smile and exchange a few words because I'm not really in the mood to talk.

Then after that, I rememebered. It was Sureen. She looked so different now @@ Not like me, still so stupid and naive..

And to my avid reader, kaki. I know you will say that I'm bitching around with this post again. But seriously, I think a lot.. and I mean A LOT just now.. And this time, I understand everything...
Everything you said to me actually gone into my head.. Just that I'm being in denial, I hate to accept anything bad that happen..
Thanks to you, for talking to me for the past few days. Without you, I don't know where I would've been..
Sorry because I've been lepas-ing geram on you for these past few days.. Sorry if I let you down when I fucked up our presentation just now... I just couldn't do what I wanted to do... Thanks a lot bro..

2010-10-26T22:26:00.004+08:00

What will we feel if we wake up?

How long can we save up in cash to buy a 6K stuff?
Maybe will be doing part time after end of sem 2.

Decided to buy a digital piano :)

2010-10-25T04:39:00.002+08:00

I hate coming back to Cyber
Public transport, have to naik bukit to get back to hostel, faraway from you.

And this insecure and emotional feeling has been a hindrance in my life
I want to get rid of this all these while..

Although I realise I have change myself a lot, but still not enough..

Still got a lot to do...

Can't get over my old attitude

2010-10-23T22:24:00.003+08:00

In Mentakab, and time to update this thing again ^^

Sigh, I don't have time management and self discipline at all..
Been sleeping for 4-5 hours recently.. for 2-3 weeks.. Mentally really really exhausted.
Been neglecting my assignment and studies.

How to accomplish my dream like this?

I seriously need determination and motivation..

Maybe a proper rest will do?

Sigh, many thing on my head. From studies to personal thing... Headache everytime I think bout that...

Seriously, need some sleep now... Will try to update as much as I could. But next week I have presentation, lab and a few quizzes which means I can't slack anymore.

Take care everyone.

MLM?

2010-10-14T10:21:00.004+08:00

One of my friend in MMU, been calling me for dinner for the past few days. Although I'm not really close with him, but him calling making me feel weird.. So anyway, yesterday I decided to go with him.

So we were chatting chatting until the part he said he's earning money/part time through something, then I realise he was trying to get in to MLM(Multi-Level Marketing). Many years ago, me myself already research about this myself and my family member especially jiefu and akak had already warned me about this. So technially, I don't really give a damn about this.

Since I already went there, and he said his friend is coming over here I decide to stick longer(Never did I know until 12am)

He told me that how we could earn passive income if you work hard for 4 years. Somehow it didn't affect me because I already did some reading when I was form 5 already @@

But somehow, he did gave me some good value and some wake up call though. He's talking bout most of the mediocre Malaysian graduate which earn shitty compare to him.

I'm glad I went there now, because it really wake me up. I already felt really really tired coming into second semester but the things he told me, about looking into the future and not for the next few months really ignite my fire back.

Though honestly I don't know how much it will last.

But the main point is, I cannot afford to sit down here in my hostel, in a dead town for so much longer.

Thanks for the talk, though I'm not going to join but I will take the good value inside.

Proper Update

2010-10-08T16:07:00.004+08:00

Decided to do a proper update today :)

So, I got my result yesterday which was just on the passing border. Checked my result with Sean's Iphone4. Fwahhhhh... But among my peers, I'm the worse lol ><. Kinda expected it anyway after starting to slack after my mid trimester examination and encounter a few problems on the way to the final.

And yeah, Mr Kaki you got higher GCPA than me lar. Happpy or not? FUCKER Come out exam 1 hour early oso can get so high. And you should've seen your muka bangga when you look at ur result. LOL

To say I'm not satisfy with the result was never in my mind. I was expecting myself to go into Probation but somehow my Maths and Physic got higher than expected. I think the lecturer was helping us. Really thanks Miss Nazihah and Mr G-Mee!

My computer App got a B-, which shocked me as well as I studied for like 1-2 chapters. I suspect something was amiss here again. Maybe my labtest did help me somehow.

At the beginning of my trimester, I was aiming for a scholarship but my recent result prove otherwise. In the beginining, even if I have a 9AM class, I will wake up at 7AM to prepare myself before entering the class..

But now.. errrrr?

Will pushed myself harder this trimester, I could not afford fooling around anymore. Felt that I have a stronger responsbility now. I don't feel like burden by PTPTN in the future or burden my parents for the high fees.

I must control my emotion better now. Look at what's important. I don't want to be another failed Malaysian graduate. Will look work harder, but not just within my course, but have to learn much, much more thing outside.

2010-09-29T19:19:00.003+08:00

Looking forward to new semester next week.

P/S; Sorry for another short update. Personal reason(s).

And yesterday I just kena from my lecturer in MSN because of my final result.

What has become of me?

Sometimes

2010-09-26T20:35:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I do wonder,

Is it normal to feel this way, or am I just overly sensitive?
Am I being plain stupid or am I being loyal?

But I will still go on.... :)

But anyway
My midterm + coursework is great if not better than average.. but my final is a big disappointment..
One of the reason is that I hate those topic so much, hopefully I don't have to retake or take the supplementary paper..
Other reason? :)

2010-09-24T12:40:00.001+08:00

I will change...

2010-09-23T21:14:00.001+08:00

Good to know that there are still people who care for me, on what I'm doing :>

Big morale boost, great motivation..

Though what I'm about to experience is not so great (:

Sidenote: WTFISH KILLER EXAM TOMORROW

2010-09-21T11:14:00.003+08:00

Insomnia for many days dy... I think it's going to last for another 3 days. I don't know whether it will do any good for me.. But I know this isn't any good when your body stop resting, your mind stop resting, you start have more thoughts in your head.

You hear voice talking out of thin air, you beat the wall for nothing, you stare at the sky for couple of hours

I tried to make it unnoticable... but

I'm a human afterall

I do everything human does.

And I have feeling like everyone.

my life

Filler post

Children?

Sek Fan

Nightmare

Have this ever happen to you?

Peer pressure?

Happy cny folks

Should I, no?

1 day trip..

Happy new year!

Tired of dealing

Hatsune Miku

To fufill own satisfaction

Overprotecting

New Touch N Go for Rapidkl

IPad 2 to Singapore coming April

Back to the drawing board

Eidur Gudjohnsen - Going to end the same way he started?

IPad 2 in Malaysia soon?

Responsbility?

Genting

17/2/2011

Remind me

Wedding Dress - Jason Chen

Cny phinish liao

Happy Chinese New Year

Back!

Back!

Finally!

Pre exam (:

Happy 2011!

A truth

Pre-Christmas Post

Ahead on Our Way

Make A Wish

Midnight Music ;D

High fever

24th November

Things to get

Home sweet Home *soon*

New

The Scientist

Love The Way You Lie part 2

Memories

How many have done it?

Back from Camp

Never going to be the same anymore..

Can't get over my old attitude

MLM?

Proper Update

Sometimes

Home sweet Home soon